The Cow at the Zoning Board
A stray Hereford cow wandered into a Randall County zoning hearing and sat down in the seat reserved for public comment.
I attend a lot of county meetings, which my wife regards as a hobby and I regard as a duty. One damp April evening in Canyon, I went to a zoning hearing on a request to build a feed store on a vacant lot. It was a small matter, with a small crowd, in a room with a drop ceiling and a flag in the corner. I took a seat near the back, in the third row, beside a man I knew from the sale barn.
The applicant was halfway through his presentation, with a map on an easel, when the side door creaked open. In walked a Hereford cow, red with a white face, calm as a deacon. She had evidently come in through the back lot, where the gate had been left ajar. She looked around the room, found the center aisle, and strolled down it with her head high, her hooves clicking on the tile. Nobody said a word. The applicant stopped mid-sentence with his pointer in the air.
She walked to the front and sat down, which I want to stress is a surprisingly graceful thing for a cow to do, in the open space in front of the public comment microphone. She folded her legs under her and settled in. The chairman looked at her for some time. Then he leaned toward his microphone and asked whether anyone in the room would like to speak on behalf of the cow. A man in the back stood up and said she was his, and that he had been looking for her since four o'clock.
The chairman thanked him and asked whether she had any comments on the feed store. The man said that, in his experience, she was generally in favor. The vote was taken, and the motion carried, with the cow abstaining. The owner led her out, and she paused at the door and looked back, as if checking the minutes. I have since learned from ranch beef cattle resources that cattle are fond of company. The feed store was built, and the cow is said to be a regular customer. The farm.FM jokes page keeps a running list of animals that have appeared at public hearings, and she is at the top.